To learn and master the art of friendship you need to practice hanging out - MAYBE, learn to reach out to people and invest time on a regular basis, so as to maintain these valuable relationships. I personally never really had the interest in forming the sort of friendships as such. This style I guess didn't really fit me. I felt burdened by the sense of duty it appeared to involve. I looked for other qualities in friendships. I needed to discover for myself my own definition of what true friendship entailed.
Today I have a few very close friends. Although I have maintained most of these friendships for many years, they still inspire a sense of awe within me. They contain an essence not readily explainable, a 'something' which I can only call magic... This magic has to do with the opening and sharing of my heart on a deeper level. It has to do with the absolute knowing, that in a moment of need, my friend will be there and provide for me exactly what I need, at that time as I will for them.
It has to do with trusting as well as being honest and vulnerable. It is about moments when I see my friend as he or she is, and they see me exactly as I am. It is about mirroring our true self to each other. On the social scale of friendship, I tend to be somewhat lousy. I regularly forget birthdays, rarely invite people to my home, and almost never take time off for vacations with my family, let alone with friends.
Therefore the friends I have, tend to be the sort of people that can pick up on a conversation as if we had met only yesterday, when in fact it may have been more than a year since we last had contact. These are the people I can call in the middle of the night when weighed down by doubt and fear, or during those times when I feel somewhat lost.
These are the people that will board a plane at a moment's notice, to be with me in my worst moments as well as in my best ones. These are the people that confront me with all my 'blind spots' and when I react adversely, they hug me and let me know I'm ok. These are the people with whom I have been able to make a contribution in a way that allows them to grow and live a more fulfilling life. I guess friendship for me is a conscious quest for love in the relationship rather than control. It is about caring and being there for each other. I once heard a definition of a friend: "A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway." I like that...
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