TEARS....

Approximately 7 years ago I remember her in my arms - if only I knew it was also my last - I would of held her tight, if I knew it was the fewer times I would hear hear voice, I would of listen attentively. All is gone, a fly-by opportunity of life - regardless I thank her and family for their love and patience.

Recent happenings got the best of me and my emotions got the better of my hearts content, tears began to freely flow. Wedding thought it showed a weakness and words came to my mind (I don't know if I created this saying or if I heard it from somewhere else), and I am reminded of them everytime tears well up in my eyes: "Tears do not a man belittle - but rather a man they make." Women just seem to naturally know how to cry. Their emotions are stirred reading a book, watching a movie, grieving with a friend, experiencing the pain their children experience.
Men have a long way to go in learning, and I hesitate to use it, about their "soft side". We have been taught by our fathers that tears are a sign of weakness, "Grown men don't cry".

Instead, we should be teaching our children that tears are a sign that we have enough confidence in ourselves to be ourselves. To be able to laugh so hard that tears run down your face is to experience true joy. To be able to look up to a heavens with tears streaming down our face and say "Thank-you for forgiving me" is to understand true forgiveness. To stand at a grave side with uncontrolled tears is to say that you loved someone and you are truly going to miss them. Can a man really be complete if he suppresses the urge to shed tears, to show his soft side? You have to decide that for yourself.

THE SOUL....

It has been awhile since Ive written and shared.... I am born again,born where my soul were given is split apart and half of it is given to someone else. Throughout our lives, we search for the person with the other half of our soul. Very few ever succeed. I am blessed that we have met. In a sudden moment, warm within your loving glare, my soul said, "At last! I can rest. I have found my missing half." When this happens, it is said we have found our soul mate and we are happy and at peace.
When we shared ourselves, we were engulfed in eternity, dancing in a timeless universe. I am truly blessed because that day, my heart recognized you as a part of its own. Thank you for blessing me with you. Thank you for dreaming with me - for seeing the same future as I do. For your beautiful eyes, reminding me of the truest bliss in life, I am forever grateful for you. I will spend an eternity, loving you, caring for you, respecting you, showing you everyday that I hold you as high as the stars. I am sorry that it's taken me this long to find you - I shall make it up to you, for as long as I can breathe for as long as my eyes remained opened willingly.

STRENGTH AND COURAGE....

It takes strength to be firm. It takes courage to be gentle. It takes strength to stand guard.It takes courage to let down your guard.It takes strength to conquerIt takes courage to surrender.It takes strength to be certain. It takes courage to have doubt. It takes strength to fit in.It takes courage to stand out.It takes strength to feel a friend's pain. It takes courage to feel your own pain. It takes strength to hide feelings. It takes courage to show them.It takes strength to endure abuse. It takes courage to stop it.It takes strength to stand alone. It takes courage to lean on another. It takes strength to love.It takes courage to be loved. It takes strength to survive. It takes courage to live.

THE COMFORT ZONE....

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn't fail. The same four walls and busywork where really more like jail. I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before, but stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor. I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much. I said I didn't care for things like commission checks and such. I claimed to be so busy with the things inside my zone, But deep inside I longed for something special of my own. I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win. I held my breath, I stepped outside and let the change begin. I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before, I kissed my comfort zone good-bye and closed and locked the door. If you're in comfort zone, afraid to venture out, remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt. A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true. Reach for your future with a smile, success is there for you!

BEGINNING TODAY....

Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can change by choosing to do so.
Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.

Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better. Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life.I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others. I will use this gift to enhance the lives of others.

Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination.I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self-improvement.

Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.

Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness.Regardless of what has gone before, I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.
Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart.I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.

Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy, admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a kitten, soak in a bubble bath, pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.
Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be. Beginning today. And every day.

Just a thought, but as I often think of you and realize how much Allah loves you, sometimes I think we need to also love ourselves through His eyes. Wassalam.

DARE TO DREAM....

Sitting down with only my thoughts... I started to realize where I was and what I was finally doing. Thoughts of "I'm not good enough to be here" started floating around my head. As much as I tried, I could not get this thought out of my head the whole time I was sitting with my other counterparts in silence. Seeing their faces, their concentration, their anguish, I finally glanced down my lane. At the start and the end of this lane were two walls. In between the two walls was water. And in the water was my DREAM. What came next was my realization. A dream is based on your reality, your strengths and your weaknesses. If my dream was above the ground then I just made the foundations to make it concrete, a reality. "I'm here aren't I?" - I said to myself. I saw the race of my life. I wasn't placed anywhere, but just to be here was my dream. People often thought that I couldn't do it and I wouldn't do it. So when I got here, the best feeling I had was when I figured out that "I was good enough, not only because I made the time but mainly because I never gave up; I gave my dream a shot. "An aim, a dream, a focus; never think you have set your goals too high. You will just have the bigger challenge of achieving it.

SECRET WORTH SHARING....

If there is someone who you look up to and admire, tell him or her. It's very important. It may be really easy for you to tell this person, or it could be very hard. I know from personal experience that even if you talk to this person all of the time and feel very comfortable with this person, it can be very hard to tell them that they've been your role model. But no matter how hard it is or how nervous and uncomfortable it can be, it is totally worth it.

I recently told someone how much I looked up to her and admired her. I hadn't ever told anyone. I was the only one who knew what an incredible difference she had made in my life. I didn't think that it would be very hard for me to tell her, because I talk to her all of the time and consider her not only my role model, but also my friend. I knew that sometimes when I try to tell a person something important, I often stumble through my words and end up leaving something out. This was so important to me that I wanted to have a back-up plan; so I wrote her a letter. I went to her house to tell her, but didn't anticipate having to use the letter. I tried to talk, but the words just wouldn't come out, so I handed her the letter and told her I hoped that it explained what I was trying to say.

It did, but while she was reading it I was sitting there in her living room, watching the clock tick and staring at the walls. I was really nervous about what she'd say. It was a very long and awkward five minutes. When she got through reading it, she thanked me and told me that she'd never had any idea that I felt that way. Before I left, she gave me a big hug and thanked me again.

No matter how hard it was for me to tell her, I've not regretted it for a second. I am so glad that I finally told her how I felt. I actually feel a lot more relaxed and comfortable around her now. And I also feel like I can be more open with her about my feelings and that I can go to her if I ever have a problem that I need to talk about. So, if there is someone who you admire and look up to, tell him or her. If you put it off, then you never know when "later" may turn out to be too late.

It is so rewarding to tell them how much they mean to you. And I can almost guarantee you that it will be as, if not more, rewarding to them to know that they've made a difference in your life. But if you don't tell them, they may never know that they were such an influence to you. One of the worst things to live your life wondering is, "What if?"

THE INVITATION....

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

THERE'S A REASON WHY....

There's a reason why the light appeared and space and time was born. There's a reason why the planets, stars and galaxies were formed. There's a reason why the earth gave birth to creatures big and small. There's a reason why We humans stood the greatest of them all. There's a reason why we asked ourselves, what, why, when and how? There's a reason why we live our lives the way we live it now.

There's a reason why we're not the same, but unique in every way. There's a reason why we all have dreams of being the best, one-day. There's a reason why we usually smile, though sometimes we may wail. There's a reason why we reach our goals, there's a reason why we fail. There's a reason why when things go wrong we join our hands in prayer. There's a reason why God answers them, with aid that comes our way.

There's a reason why Some people say "You're wrong and I am right". There's a reason why A friendship breaks and why the nations fight. There's a reason why we have to leave and bid our friends' goodbye, there's a reason why that child is born, there's a reason why we die. There's a reason why these things will be, the way it was meant to be. It's a plan that began, when the light appeared, and will be for all eternity.

MAN'S LIFE....

Every man's life is a beautiful masterpiece tapestry woven in different colored threads. Each and every pattern is made up of events that a person encounters everyday. These experiences enrich a person's life. The happy moments, the moments of kindness, his unselfish acts, his moments of triumph and joy are all woven in silver and gold thread.

These threads make a man's life pattern strong. But man often tends to ruin his life's pattern with ugly spots. These are his wrong deeds, his selfish acts and moments of weakness. These threads make a man's life pattern weak. And often it is with these weak threads, that we weave our life's strong pattern, spoiling a beautiful life pattern that sometimes we cannot repair. Thus the tissue of life we can weave, good or bad, remembering that we always reap what we weave.

PORTRAIT OF A FRIEND....

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answer. I can't change your past with all its heartache and pain,or the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care. I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall. Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine.

Yet, I can share in your laughter. Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge. I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask. I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you. I can't give you boundaries, which I have determined for you. But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking or hurting. But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.

LIFES ADVICE....

In three words I can sum up everything that I learned about life, "It goes on." When the going gets tough, make yourself realize that no matter what your problem is, someone is and always will be fighting a harder battle. Tears don't help problems and whining won't make things better. Have faith but understand that faith makes things possible, not easier. Have hope but understand without doing anything nothing gets done.Be there when people need you, because in order to have friends you must first be one. Make the impossible, possible. Never give up! You only fail when you fail to try. Keep an open mind; you never know what you may learn. Never compromise your standards for anyone, do it for you.
Remember that laughter makes the world go round. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose, see through the problem to find the solution. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Keep in mind, those who gossip to you will gossip about you. Say only what you mean, and don't believe everything that you hear because some day the story will be about you.Everyday is a gift, even if it sucks. Count your blessings, not your troubles.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them, because you never know what tomorrow has in store for you. Give people a second chance, because no one is perfect. Love all that you can, give all that you have, smile away your days, and dream away your nights. Life, what a wonderful thing!

There have been times in my short life where I had to overcome certain obstacles, just as everyone must. Some which happened by chance and others because I was reckless with my life. I won't deny the fact that I thought I was invincible and could easily overcome anything. I was foolish in my thinking; life is sometimes going to be difficult. If life were a smoothly paved road then there would be no excitement, no thrill of just being alive.
The roadblocks in life are going to make things difficult and alter our daily lives but when someone overcomes these obstacles there is triumph. In this triumph, strength and courage builds to take on life.
I know I have a lot more to learn and experience but I have already learned the importance of loving the low points in life just as I love the high ones. I have already begun to triumph and I can't wait for the thrill to continue this journey we call life.

WALK....

I enjoy taking a walk. It is a great way to exercise, a wonderful way to see things at a slower pace, and an opportunity to meet people. Often, during a walk, meeting people is nothing more than a smile and a quick "Hi", but the reactions are as wide, and some as barren, as the Arctic. The older the passer-by, the more likely the response, but rarely a smile. Many have pain and suffering written cruelly across their face, where the years have etched it in deep, few remembering how to use the muscles required to turn up the corners of their mouths.

Men and attractive young ladies are the least to respond. Most never even wanting eyes to meet, scared and resentful of this unsolicited approach. Children have no time to respond, and didn't their mother always tell them not to talk to strangers? Hey, I am not one of the ones that they were warned about, but they don't know that. Then there are those that can't keep their eyes off their shoes. I am not sure whether they are afraid they are going to trip over that crack in the sidewalk or if they are waiting for their laces to untie, all by themselves.

Others have that straight ahead out-of-focus look, staring at some far off point on the horizon, not wanting to exert the effort of looking to the side. But for the few that do respond, their eyes light up, a broad smile breaks across their face and they respond with a warm "Hi". Normally, these are the ones who have a lighter step, a lilt to their walk.

They are the ones who enjoy observing their surroundings, drinking in all that nature has provided them. They have life and don't mind sharing it. I don't think this is something that is graced upon people at birth, but rather they discover it at some point along life's path. Next time some stranger walks by you and says "Hi", respond to them. You never know, it might be me.

A BROKEN HEART....

We have all had are hearts broken at least once in our lives. There has been that one person that we have loved with all our heart and has not returned that love. When you wake up to that reality you feel like your world has shattered. You feel like you will never love that way again.

He or she is all you think of and becomes your world. You ask yourself why is this happening to me? Am I not good enough? What's wrong with me? Then, as time goes by, you get the answers to your questions. You begin to realize that it all happened for a reason. You realize the he/she is not the one for you. The more you analyze the person you begin to see the differences. You realize that you don't know that person like you thought you did and they don't know you.

Then comes the understanding that you deserve someone who will love, cherish, appreciate you and never take you for granted. Once you reach this point, the pain of never having him starts to minimize. It becomes a learning experience. You learn more about yourself. You learn to recognize the qualities you do want in a person. You learn that you will love again and even stronger.

When two people love each other mutually and give to each other freely that love grows and matures. If it were not for the experience of our broken heart and those lessons we learned along the way we would not be the loving, understanding people we become. All past hurts teach us and mold us in becoming better people, which give us the tools to create successful relationships. If you are experiencing a broken heart just remember even though you have been hurt and disappointed, love will come again just HOPE and see!

STRANGERS....

Who are these people whom we call strangers? Are they people whom we do not know, or are they people whom we have yet to know, or are they people who just fill in the voids of our daily life like extras in a movie show?

I believe there are no strangers in this world.. Just friends whom you have yet to meet... the vast number of people to whom we have yet to reach out to. Well to think about it.. none of the friends we have are friends by default. All the friends we have were strangers once.

This reminds me of an incident that took place a long time back when I was studying my first year architectural degree. I was doing my model then made out of cardboards. And being a first timer in doing my model without any formal training, I overlooked the fact that I had to bring in my own cardboard. The final essembly of our project took place at the university hall where all the lecturers and teachers monitored our every movement.
Well... I had to settle for a low-quality paper that was being prepared. I was extremely demoralized. Out of the blue, a guy slid a sheet of hi-quality cardboard paper on my desk and said, "I have an extra one, I believe you could use it".

I did not expect that from a stranger and I did not ask him for help... and that cardboard doesn't come cheap! Before I could even thank him, he rushed back to his seat. I wanted so much to express my gratitude, but he was long gone before I could finish my so called structural paper element of a building. I did not know him.. and he did not know me, but what he did then secured me the grade to enter my second year.

It isn't just a piece of paper.... it isn't! It has been almost 12 years now and that incident is safely archived in a corner of my mind. Was he a stranger? I don't think so.... He was just another wonderful soul I never got to know.

IT DEPENDS ON WHOSE HANDS IT IS....

A golf ball in my hands is worth about $19. A golf ball in Tiger Woods hands is worth about $33 million.It depends whose hands it's in. A softball in my hands is worth about $6. A softball in Mark McGuire's hands is worth $19 million. It depends whose hands it's in. A tennis racket is useless in my hands. A tennis racket in Pete Sampras' hands is a Wimbledon Championship.

It depends whose hands it's in. A rod in my hands will keep away a wild animal. A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea. It depends whose hands it's in. A sling shot in my hands is a kid's toy. A sling shot in David's hand is a mighty weapon. It depends whose hands it's in. Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse, nails in a carpenter's hands will produce shelter. It depends whose hands it's in.

As you see now it depends whose hands it's in. So put your concerns, your worries, your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your families and your relationships in God's hands because....... it depends whose hands it's in.

THE LOCKED BOX....

My hearts been frozen for many years and so I cried so many tears. I find within my heart of stone, the fear of being left alone. I try to find within myself, how did my heart get on that shelf? To see within that little box it seems to hold so many locks. I need to find so many keys so I can learn to set it free. Then one day I met a friend who said this heartache has to end. And so I took the box off the shelf to learn the lessons within myself, to find within the heart of stone. It's alright to be alone. It's okay to cry those tears for I have shed so many fears!

LIFE IS A JOURNEY....

Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be smooth; in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges.Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, we may stumble upon obstacles that will come between the paths that we are destined to take.

In order to follow the right path, we must overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only we don't realize that at the time. Along our journey we will be confronted with many situations, some will be filled with joy, and some will be filled with heartache. How we react to what we are faced with determines what kind of outcome the rest of our journey through life will be like. When things don't always go our way, we have two choices in dealing with the situations. We can focus on the fact that things didn't go how we had hoped they would and let life pass us by, or two, we can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and find the lessons that are to be learned.

Time stops for no one, and if we allow ourselves to focus on the negative we might miss out on some really amazing things that life has to offer. We can't go back to the past, we can only take the lessons that we have learned and the experiences that we have gained from it and move on. It is because of the heartaches, as well as the hardships, that in the end help to make us a stronger person. The people that we meet on our journey, are people that we are destined to meet. Everybody comes into our lives for some reason or another and we don't always know their purpose until it is too late. They all play some kind of role. Some may stay for a lifetime; others may only stay for a short while. It is often the people who stay for only a short time that end up making a lasting impression not only in our lives, but in our hearts as well.

Although we may not realize it at the time, they will make a difference and change our lives in a way we never could imagine. To think that one person can have such a profound affect on your life forever is truly a blessing. It is because of these encounters that we learn some of life's best lessons and sometimes we even learn a little bit about ourselves. People will come and go into our lives quickly, but sometimes we are lucky to meet that one special person that will stay in our hearts forever no matter what. Even though we may not always end up being with that person and they may not always stay in our life for as long as we like, the lessons that we have learned from them and the experiences that we have gained from meeting that person, will stay with us forever.

It's these things that will give us strength to continue on with our journey. We know that we can always look back on those times of our past and know that because of that one individual, we are who we are and we can remember the wonderful moments that we have shared with that person. Memories are priceless treasures that we can cherish forever in our hearts. They also enables us to continue on with our journey for whatever life has in store for us. Sometimes all it takes is one special person to help us look inside ourselves and find a whole different person that we never knew existed. Our eyes are suddenly opened to a world we never knew existed- a world where time is so precious and moments never seem to last long enough.

Throughout this adventure, people will give you advice and insights on how to live your life but when it all comes down to it, you must always do what you feel is right. Always follow your heart, and most importantly never have any regrets. Don't hold anything back. Say what you want to say, and do what you want to do, because sometimes we don't get a second chance to say or do what we should have the first time around. It is often said that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. It all depends on how one defines the word "strong" It can have different meanings to different people. In this sense, "stronger" means looking back at the person you were and comparing it to the person you have become today. It also means looking deep into your soul and realizing that the person you are today couldn't exist if it weren't for the things that have happened in the past or for the people that you have met.

Everything that happens in our life happens for a reason and sometimes that means we must face heartaches in order to experience joy.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASNT LOOKING....

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."

TO BELIEVE....

To believe... is to know that every day is a new beginning. It is to trust that miracles happen and dreams really do come true.
To believe... is to see Angels dancing among the clouds, to know the wonder of a stardust sky and the wisdom of the man in the moon.
It is to know the value of a nurturing heart, the innocence of a child's eyes and the beauty of an aging hand, for it is through their teachings we learn to love.
It is to find the strength and courage that lies within us. When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.
It is to know we are not alone, that life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.
To believe... is to know that wonderful surprises are just waiting to happen, and all our hopes and dreams are within reach. If only we believe.